Baking. Jill. Weird.

Quarantine life has brought out the ‘almost impossible’ in me. A willingness to attempt to bake something sweet. Readers of this space know that I do not like baking savory things on the best of days but I could be motivated to do for the right occasion.

The issue when I do bake is that I rarely attempt the simple. And the problem with that is that baking is generally anything but simple….. if you don’t like to follow instructions to the letter. Ahem. It is why I enjoy savory cooking because I can “off road” in a variety of ways based on what is in season or whatever I may be fancying. Baking requires precision, patience and leaves very little latitude for error. Meh.

My other problem when I attempt to bake is that I tend to pick complex recipes by chefs I follow. I mean, if you’re going to go big….

With that, most of my baking has been in either the Bouchon Bakery cookbook or the classic Bouchon cookbook. Both eateries are owned by Thomas Keller. I am a big fan of most of his restaurants and one of the highlights was taking Lisa and Jarrett to Per Se when I had the “purple claw” from the Australian Walkabout.

In the past, I have made things such as his Quiche Lorraine on a number of occasions. I wouldn’t say it is complicated, but it requires planning and is a multi-day effort. From the Bouchon Bakery cookbook, I have made 'Bacon-Cheddar Scones’ because, of course, savory, cheese and bacon are involved. Also made were ‘Nutter Butters’, ‘Fuhgeddaboudits’, ‘TKOs’ as well as puff pastry made from scratch. This was for another special occasion dish made here at Chez Beck called ‘Duck Wellington with Mole Sauce’, which is Vitaly Paley’s recipe from Paley’s Place.

[Side note: When I was on Facebook back in the day, I tagged him on my dish after making it and he complimented me on the presentation. Proud amateur chef moment. Anyway…..]

As part of quarantine living, Marc and I have started watching GBBO (aka the Great British Bake Off). It’s pretty fun and I must have had too much wine one night when I decided that I would bake something for an upcoming socially distanced gathering with some close friends. See, all in-person gatherings are now special occasions. And with that, I chose to make Thomas Keller’s ‘Oh Oh’s’ recipe.

I am unsure what the hell I was thinking (again: see wine comment above) because I had never rolled baked sponge pastry and I certainly never tempered chocolate. In case you never tempered chocolate, it is a challenge and requires that whole ‘precision, patience, whatever’ thing I mentioned at the top. And as with any Keller recipe, it requires multiple days of effort in the best of circumstances. Alrighty then. Let’s do this anyway!

The sponge was relatively easy to make and the cream filling from scratch was also pretty uneventful. I remembered Marc had made these previously and it was great to have some notes around scaling the recipe, particularly around the cream. I did find myself looking furiously at the oven to see about overbaking and doing the whole toothpick testing thing, a la GBBO. I’m such a wanna-be.

I doubled the recipe, including Marc’s recos, so I had a bit of buffer as I only needed 8 Oh Ohs to be remotely acceptable. Rolling the sponge with the cream was tough. Next time, I might err towards slightly underbaking as the sponge may cook a little once it comes out of the oven. I had to do a bit of a flip to get the sponge cakes out of the cookie sheets, but fortunately those went off without any problems. Got them all rolled and prepped to go in the freezer overnight. A little cracking, but not too bad.

Wait. What the hell am I talking about, “next time”? No, thank you!

Got ‘em rolled. Ready to go in the freezer overnight.

I checked on them dutifully, but had to be careful as I may have gone into hoarding mode when it comes to our collection of Crowd Cow meats and seafood in the two freezers we have. I barely got them in without scraping against anything. This required putting a special sign on the freezer to ensure everyone (all two of us) was careful with the precious cargo in the freezer. Normally I would have coated them the next day but the plans were in disarray due to the smoke and fires in the area.

We decided that plans were moving forward so I started with tempering the chocolate 48 hours later. Tempering chocolate is a complicated process, as I mentioned above. You cannot screw up the temperatures and you need to monitor it incessantly. You’re talking 3 phases. The 1st phase was just melting the chocolate from bar form. Standard. Then the 2nd phase has you taking it off of the double boiler and letting it cool, which TAKES. A. FREAKING. LONG. TIME. Then for the final phase, you have to heat it briefly and then get it on the cakes as quickly as possible.

Attempting to temper chocolate.

The 2nd phase took well over an hour. Kept stirring it. But the chocolate was taking its sweet time. It finally hit the temperature but we didn’t have a tempering fork, so I was handling the cakes with my hands and then even though we had the cakes with chocolate on a cooling rack, they still stuck to the bottom. An unmitigated disaster. Lots of f- bombs dropped. [Note that we had lots of f-bombs dropped the previous nights because Marc and I are fans of the Broncos and the Giants, respectively, and they both showed up in lame fashion on MNF.] Anyway, in spite of Marc’s best efforts with his baking expertise, I was pissed off. I realized I was going to have buy a bunch of chocolate early the next day and repeat the tempering all over again with some modifications.

Worked out the next morning and went to PCC. The cashier said I was well stocked in chocolate to get through the next pandemic. If he only knew. I also decided that tempering was out and that I was just going to melt the chocolate. Everyone was going to have to be ok with non-shiny chocolate and live with that. Oh, the struggles of COVID. Got the chocolate melted. Marc also recommended that we continuously move the cakes once they had been coated with chocolate so they wouldn’t stick to the cooling rack. I also decided to use 2 spatulas to coat the cakes in the chocolate. The good news is that both of those moves turned out to make a positive difference in the outcome.

Progress with pearls and everything….

OK, now we were talking. Get these bad asses in the fridge to harden for later in the day. Check. Brought them to the dinner party at friend’s house. They worked. I even got serenaded for some strange reason. All in all, good. But I’ll say that I’ll likely never temper chocolate again, much in the same way that I’ll never make puff pastry from scratch again. Yes, it is a point of pride to do both, but the taste is not demonstrably different and the frustration level is way lower. Call me lazy. I’m good with that. Now quiche crust, on the other hand, is something worth making from scratch.

Squats and Tacos, baby! Oh, wait… Cardio and Chocolate!